There's a party tonight, and people are asking why I'm not going.
"When you’re chronically ill what you want to do and what you should do very rarely coincide, and no chronically ill person should ever be made to feel guilty for choosing what they feel is best for their health, both mental and physical, at any given time." --anonymous Tumblr post
Does this mean I never party? Of course not!
I recently became aware of the spoon theory, a model used by a lot of chronically ill people ("spoonies") to describe their daily life. Spoons are an intangible unit of measurement which represent how much energy a person has to spend in one day. Healthy people do not feel the impact of using spoons. Chronic illnesses tend to take a huge toll on one's energy, so "spoonies" have to be careful to plan and keep track of the number of spoons they use each day. When they run out of spoons, they need to rest and recharge.
Today I ran out of spoons. After the last show I pushed myself, partied till 3am, and was sick the whole week afterwards.
Tonight was fun, but I'm going to take care of myself and get some rest so I can enjoy tomorrow too. I'll party another weekend when I have more spoons left to spend, and keep getting the most out of my college experience.
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